The links between clothing and telling our own stories....
For many years, I’ve had an interest in colour, especially in regards to how we react to it when we see it in architecture or fashion. As a result, I’ve had my colours done; something I think is quite unusual for an Australian male. For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, basically, all people fit into four “seasons” of colour in regards to their hair and skin colour. For more details, check the concepts out here (https://www.yourcolours.com.au/services/colours/) and here (https://www.realmenrealstyle.com/seasonal-colors/).
I’ve tried to apply these rules for a while, but it hasn’t worked put overly well. Most Australian retail works on the “stack it high, sell it low” principle, with very little idea of anything like fashion. Many of the staff don’t see retail as a career and given they work on commission, they are happy to sell anything to anyone. So finding stuff in the *right* colours was hit and miss.
There’s one store in Canberra, though, that had intriguing clothing every time I walked past it. A few weeks ago, I walked in and spoke to the men in there. I then learnt more about fashion in one hour than I had in the previous decade. Long story short, I recently screwed up my courage and trusted the manager to find entire outfits that would suit me. I think he’s done well, although I have yet to have any events to wear the clothing to. It certainly wasn’t cheap, and I had momentary pangs of regret at handing over so much dough. But then I thought – this is actually the culmination of years of effort, so I proceeded. When I got home and tried the clothes on, they flowed into each other…meaning that I now have around 12 outfits that really work; not bits and pieces bought from differing stores that don’t.
On reflection, I’ve been trying to work out why this felt like such a big step. And I think part of it is a reaction to where my life is at generally. Much of the past decade has been a real struggle on various fronts, and despite me putting in more effort than ever before, much of it has felt fruitless. So at least buying these clothes has meant achieving a long-held goal. Maybe another aspect of it is that the results of the effort are so clearly tangible. And the third side aspect is that it has made me felt properly adult.
I appreciate there are two schools of thought on this. On one side, of course, being truly adult is about our actions and how we treat others around us. But the other side of this relates to how we see ourselves, and how we wish others to perceive us. In relation to this, the expression “clothes maketh the man” does carry some weight. Like it or not, what we wear does reflect upon us. And that’s what I mean about feeling properly adult. For the first time, my clothes look deliberate, and as though I have a story to tell.
This brings me to the second topic. I’ve been listening to this audiobook called Mrs. M by Luke Slattery (http://bit.ly/3aXzU9Y). The book talks about Elizabeth Macquarie, wife to an early Governor of New South Wales. To my shock and sadness, this was the first audiobook I've heard in relation to Australian history that came with a Scottish accent. I mean, in hindsight, Macquarie is, of course, a Scottish name, but I'm so used to hearing either Australian or posh English accents that it still surprised me.
Beyond that, the author’s skill in painting pictures with words amazed me. As I listened, a fully formed image of Elizabeth Macquarie came to me. In my head, thanks to the words, I could almost work out her facial expressions, how she would walk across a room, and what she was wearing. She came across as a woman of intelligence, independence of thought, courage, passion, and of being well ahead of her time. I’d never made the connection before, but she was, of course, alive at the same time as Jane Austen. Yet while Austen’s female characters are also (usually) admirable, they seem more bound by tradition than Elizabeth did (at least in the book), despite colonial Sydney’s resemblance to a goldfish bowl.
How do these two topics fit together? When we read books and imagine, or we look at other people, especially those we don’t know, there is a natural curiosity to wonder how life looks like when lived in their shoes. What do they do all day long? What have they been through, and what do they dream of? But we don’t necessarily feel that about everyone; it’s subjective.
Having said that, though, I think there are some people who radiate mystery and charisma. If you don’t believe me, have a look at the majority of Hollywood (and other) movies. How many characters do you see wearing mismatched or scruffy clothing? It’s all part of a carefully calculated appeal to a basic human need to reflect our desired social status. And part of that appeal is in relation to wealth – our minds take a mental shortcut that suggests to us “if that person looks like that, it might be worth getting to know them”. Is it shallow? Yes, but it’s also unconscious – we are biologically programmed to look for resources or indicators that might point towards access to them.
I think that there are broader effects in choosing our clothes with care in regards to the messages we send in wearing them. Firstly, doing so reflects an ideal of taking responsibility for our own stories, rather than sending no message at all. In doing so, I think it sends a signal to others around us that we are awake to life’s possibilities, that we are both interesting, and more importantly – interested in other people.
Secondly, even if that person who is well dressed is not actually a spy or something exotic, they may well do something else interesting – or be worthwhile talking to. Likewise, perhaps reading and imagining, in turn, strengthens our ability to see things from other perspectives, to show empathy, to better understand history and how it informs our present, and to relate to people from other backgrounds – none of which the world needs any less of.
What do you think?
